Front Porch Rebellion

by Charlie Cheney & The Significant Otters

supported by
Jules Klassen
Jules Klassen thumbnail
Jules Klassen Charlie's wry sense of humour is in full evidence on this album. Smart Wool Pasties is hilarious as well, but his ability to make you laugh over the saddest situations (like in Palmer Johnson Yacht) is amazing. Favorite track: Palmer Johnson Yacht.
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1.
Now that the shipyard's closed I'm working at the Conoco And you drive by with your Palmer Johnson Yacht With your Mount Gay rum, your gin and tonic For your trophy bride who's mounted on the front Big Box Billy is gutting our city Putting strip malls in for a million bucks a shot But I don't get a lot of job satisfaction Pumping out gas for your Palmer Johnson Yacht There's a hole in the road There's a hole in my home There's a hole in the road There's a hole in my heart For seventy years we've worked this city Since my grampa came and landed on the dock My dad and my brother and me were riveters But that's all smashed like a trawler on the rocks Still I feel lucky cuz my kids are healthy And my wife's got bene's from working at the bank But I don't get a lot of job satisfaction Pumping out gas for your Palmer Johnson Yacht There's a hole in the road There's a hole in my home There's a hole in the road There's a hole in my heart
2.
It goes up, it goes down It goes up and then again it goes down And it feels like the whole damn town Are honking their horns cuz it's taking so long I'm a steel bridge tender (4x) Well the boats gather round Yeah the boats they all gather around But I hold all the power So I only let them go through once an hour I'm a steel bridge tender (4x) Everyone says she's old Everyone says she's old I don't know but I've been told I'm a steel bridge tender (4x)
3.
Fortune Teller Why'd you have to tell me that Fortune Teller That my baby's gonna leave me flat It might take a week and it might take a month It might be when I'm old and fat I wish I didn't know what you told me, oh Why'd you have to tell me that We just heard wedding bells She had that new bride smell As we were walking down The boulevards of New Orleans She saw your window signs And your neon lights Twenty dollars for a reading From the Cajun Queen You read my tarot cards and my tea leaf shards Said the lines upon my palm proved I'd live in pain Why'd you tell me that, I want my ignorance back Back when I believed she'd love me Until my dying day
4.
04:12
Her voice is whispering through the telephone Babe I miss you when you coming home I know you're driving as fast as you can go But I need you when I'm here alone (I know you're) Driving up through the mountains And down through the rain Winding through the valley And you're doubling back again But I need you beside me Need to feel your hands Need to know you're more Than just a highway man Sometimes I wonder why I make the haul I used to love this, now I don't at all I make a living, I'm barely getting by I miss my children, I miss my wife It's getting harder, harder every day To earn a living in an honest way I used to think I, I was above the fray But now I know I, I just need the pay
5.
He drove his old bass boat From the bay in Duluth Down through the nose of the Wolf To the east and the south and the paw And he felt the years of tears in his eyes And is ears felt the bite of the wind As it blew back his silver hair But he clung to the shore With a dog's sense of fear And the name of his daughter Seemed to sigh from the sigh from the motor As he brought it down to half And the bay turned the color of roses in summer And the evening sun fingered the earth When he found her under the old bay bridge Her dress had snagged on along And he reached down the cold of her arm But his eyes and mouth were dry And he stared up through the grates and the steel At the tourist cars going by And he lifted her up and laid her down For the long ride home into the wind And the name of his daughter Seemed to cry from the motor As he brought it up to full And the bay seemed to shimmer From oil on the water And the silver moon pulled at the shore
6.
03:07
What's Jimmy Doogan doing? (2x) What's Jimmy Doogan doing now? Jimmy Doogan's on the street But we all know he's a cheat He's working all the angles Dresses like the man is made He's got the ace of spades Etched in ink down on his ankle But he can't get a game Because he made his name, we call him "Weasel" Jimmy Doogan you better keep on moving Because we won't even give you the time of day chorus Jimmy Doogan's got it bad She's the best he's never had We call her Cinderella Kinda hides behind her mom Jimmy thinks the girl's the bomb And he'd die to be her fella But you can bet she knows Where Jim's love grows She smells a rat, yeah she can smell it Jimmy Doogan you better keep on moving Because she won't even give you the time of day
7.
Sally Rae Schipper Is a Winnipeg stripper Who knows how to please the boys The cash they're throwing's For what's NOT showing That's what brings the noise She said I'm no hero Ten below zero Is a little too cold for me So I paid top dollar For a mink fur collar And smart wool nipple pasties They go round and round and round and round And they keep me nice and warm No matter how cold That north wind blows Those monster Canadian storms
8.
04:24
I landed here after the fall a few years back Seems like the sun's still in my eyes Why have I stayed here all this time, why? Jean and I sort of fell together She blew in on an east wind storm Found me sitting here drinking pain killers In a beach side bar in St. John I guess it's time I should think about leaving Folks back home might be missing me I've gotta find a way to keep believing The last one left with Jean Jean Boats come and go every hour on the hour Across that bay so blue and green I'm still here nursing pain killers The last boat left with Jean I swore I'd never let Jean see me crawl My back's been burned by the sunshine And I've been stopped by this morning squall I've really gotta leave this time Jean
9.
03:22
I'm gonna cut you up buttercup And stick you in my trunk Drive out to the desert and dig a hole I'm gonna cover your head in spunk And shovel on some dirt Maybe that way I can cover up this hurt You used to be sweet as apple pie Now you're sauerkraut Ever since you doinked that other guy And thought I'd never find out I'm gonna cut you up buttercup And stick you in my trunk Drive out to the desert and dig a hole I should've known you didn't have sewing class every night Cuz no one ever really sews that much I should've known something was up When you booked that business trip Cuz you don't even have a job I'm gonna cut you up buttercup And stick you in my trunk Drive out to the desert and dig a hole
10.
01:31
What's that thing about whiskey? Makes me feel so good Especially round about 3am When you know I'm up to no good What's that thing about Whiskey? Makes me feel so fine Especially round about 3am When I'm half out of my mind Made me lose my happy home Made me lose my bride Made me lose everything I own But I feel so good inside What's that thing about Whiskey? Makes me feel so fine Especially round about 3am When I'm half out of my mind I'll drink it straight from a liter bottle Drink it from a metal flask People say "why you like it so much" Baby do you have to ask?
11.
03:47
One store left in Hoxeyville Cuz there ain't nothing here no more 30 odd houses standing empty Since the papermill closed its doors Who can say where the people went I heard John Hall's working for the government He told me it's the last damn job that's left Since the paper mill closed its doors Oh, there ain't nothing here no more The paper mill closed its doors John was foreman up in Parts & Sparks He knew every bolt and wire If any machine was ever broken down He had it fixed in a half an hour Now he's carrying a heavier load Scraping dead deer off the side of the road Backing breaking work for a sixty year old But the paper mill closed its doors Ain't nothing here no more The papermill closed its doors Crisis hovers cuz it's timeless What we do is what defines us Volunteering at the Baptist church When the Second Harvest truck comes round Company closings left me in the lurch But I can't seem to leave this town Grampa came here back in thirty-two Goddamn I'll probly die here too What the hell else am I supposed to do The paper mill closed its doors Ain't nothing here no more The paper mill closed its doors
12.
03:51
Flashing stop lights blowing in the wind Alone on Main Street once again All the bars are open but the crowds have all grown thin Alone on Main Street once again Weekend bikers leave their angels in the dust I need a vision I can trust I'm living in a ghost town, ghost town Soul survivor, leaves all turning brown Ghost town You left Sunday as I opened up the shop I found your earring on the counter top I thought to call you but the fantasy was gone It's hard to wake up all alone Fading photos, just the two of us I need a vision I can trust I'm living in a ghost town, ghost town Soul survivor, leaves all turning brown Ghost town People come here always looking to break free With no idea how their lives could really be Season's crowds keep coming People push and shove Turn around and leave this town I love Ghost town

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Released on SB United Records (sbunitedsite.com) in South Bend, Indiana. Recorded live at Makin' Sausage Studios in Milwaukee Wisconsin on February 3rd and 4th, 2012

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released July 31, 2012

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Charlie Cheney Madison, Wisconsin

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